Clearly, I'm not mature enough....

Truly. I clearly am not mature enough to have a chronic illness. I have been reading in various places about different ways to assist in your healing. It isn't just a new agey, hippy thing to do guided imagery to help during the healing process. It's a well practiced technique by many doctors. You can find it under healing techniques on many different cancer and chronic illness sites. I also read about it in a book I'm reading ~"Kitchen Table Wisdom".

This book kept popping up here and there. It was on the coffee table of 3 petsitting jobs I had one weekend. I have a philosophy that if something comes to you more than 2-3 times, it's not a coincidence. I also know each time I saw it, I was very curious about it and took note. I thought in my head, oh this is another one of those "Chicken-soup for the soul" type books. And, just brushed it off. A friend of mine mentioned the book casually and I was shocked, here's the 4th time in 3 days this book I didn't know anything about prior to this, has popped up 4 times. This beautiful friend gave it to me as a gift. Thank you, Maryann. So, I finally picked up the book and began to read. It's a book written by a Doctor in NY. She's telling the healing journeys of her patients. It's quite beautiful. I now understand why it revealed itself to me a couple weeks before I would get a diagnosis. The book talks about our abilities to help heal ourselves along with the medical treatments. She shared a guided imagery with one of her patients in a session. I read it and figured, look I've got nothing to lose. It can't hurt me, so why not add it to the regime. So, I tried.

You lie down, do breathing exercises, get into a calm state of mind and then imagine going into your body. I followed instruction and got myself super cozy on the couch. I hopped in through my eye, slid down the back of my eyeball and jumped through my brain to stand and look. I don't know why, that's just what happened. Now you color different parts of your body, you pick a color for the sick cells or the intruder that is wreaking havoc and you color them that color so you can differentiate between healthy you and ill you. Now, the task is to create something fierce to kill off these intruders. I don't know, like a lion, or a monster or I don't know. So, I lay there quietly standing on my brain, with my body cells all split into different colors. It took awhile to pick a color for the Lyme and co-infections as I couldn't think of a color I dislike that much. So, I finally settled on a very yellowy "Lymey"green with a bad tint to it. I kept trying to create something fierce, but then I'd see a little monster type guy and his eyes would be all enormous and cute and I'd want to hug him . Or he'd be fuzzy and I'd want to keep him for a pet or make him a character in one of my children's stories. (Drawings to follow). Nope, not that one. Nope, no way, too squishy. Nope, too soft. Nope, that one isn't mean, he's just misunderstood. Hhhhhmmmm, that was obviously not working. I kept trying, until I guess I just zoned out. Then.... I heard it. "You're feeling darkness all around you, the criminals all around you, no use hiding, I'm the dog, the big fat dog, THE BOUNTY HUNTAAAH!" OMG! No, I didn't just do that. All the cute fuzzy animal monster things were looking at me with less than understanding eyes. Really? Dog the bounty hunter? That's my fierce Lyme-killing monster? Uh, I just sent a scary, weird christian guy with the world's worst mullet into my body? And, brought his terrible theme song with. Omg, Is his terrible wife gonna show up wearing giant American flag earrings and running her enormous boobs into my insides? Eww. Why would my subconscious do this? Ummm, yeah, send Dog in to arrest the Lyme, that's awesome, Lana. No, it's not. The theme song kept playing and then I began to giggle uncontrollably. I don't even watch that show. My ex used to watch it and I would sometimes be unable to rip my eyes away from the sheer horror. I sat up and decided that I am clearly not mature enough to do this. Maybe, next time. But, the laughter was nice.