I have so much I want to share about what I know about Lyme Disease. Yet, I don't really know where or how to start when it comes to the most important aspects of this fight. I figure, like most things, it will come in it's own time. I will just put my hands to the keyboard one night and it will happen. The fight I am having to get my body back is just a microcosm of the fight we are under to get our higher conscience back, to clean up the mess and corruption that is destroying our beautiful country. If anyone has the opportunity to watch the documentary 'Under Our Skin', please do! Unfortunately, you can't rent it anywhere (I've checked). I have it and will loan it to anyone who wishes to know more. This is an epidemic. I don't want you to watch it because of me and my personal struggle, but rather to give you knowledge that may help you or someone you know who is suffering. And, to open more eyes to something criminal that is going on while many sit back and remain in the dark. I also sent a couple copies to a friend in Seattle to share. Contact me if you'd like to borrow one. Otherwise it can be purchased on their website. It goes to a great cause, but it's a bit expensive for a DVD - $35.
There is going to be a screening of the movie in Monterey on June 8th.
Lyme Disease Education Group
Guest speaker Raj Patel M.D. Lyme specialist
Community Hospital Conference Rm. A 4th floor/Rehabilitation center
June 8th 6:30 - 8:30
Amy Tan (Author of 'Joy Luck Club') and Rebecca Wells (Author of the Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood) are both suffering from this disease. Rebecca Wells has been in and out of a wheel chair and Amy tan has had neurological issues so bad that she's suffered from hallucinations. They both have written about their battle in books or articles. If you are drawn to do so, please read.
I'm in awe of the support people have extended to me so far. I woke up today to find a beautiful letter from an old friend that filled me with emotion and love. Later, while waiting in the lobby at CHOMP for the first of the heart tests, I opened my Facebook app to entertain myself and found that one of my friends had posted a link to my blog. It was followed by kind, supportive words. I feel so loved. A friend of mine gave me the money to have the $1400 worth of blood tests done and payed for a few of my doctor's visits. My friend Marlie, who is one of the strongest, most generous, loving people I have ever known, raised money to help with my expenses. She hand painted these beautiful scrolls she makes. People who don't even know me donated. My friend from NY that I hadn't seen in years just happened to be visiting this area a few weeks before my diagnosis. She and her wonderful boyfriend took me for an experience of a lifetime. Skydiving. It just so happens that this friend is struggling with chronic lyme disease too. Something synchronistic about her timely visit.
All this strength everybody credits me for having really has to do with all of the people that are holding me up mind, body and spirit right now. How can I possibly feel self pity or negativity when so much light is shining amidst this darkness. I have moments where I start to panic when I think about how I will continue to get treatments and such, but I have to let go. I'm worried that I soon wont be able to do the petsitting. I haven't worked at the Vet Hospital in weeks. I worry Maybe I'm worried for nothing. Just maybe I will start to improve and all of this will be behind me in an instant. I just don't know what to expect next. Ugh, the great unknown. I have to jump out of that plane and be in the moment, see the beauty and know that I am going to land safely. And remember... if the chute doesn't open, there is a reserve chute.
I watched a Dateline type show tonight about a man who had been wrongly committed of a crime (DNA evidence 16 years later cleared him) and when he was finally released from prison, he was dying of cancer and had days left to live. The story was so amazing and if I had read it in a book, I would have said the fiction author took it to far. Truth really is stranger than fiction so often. Anyway, the point of this is that while trying to tell my Mother about the show I said in all seriousness "You can not get an organ transplant when you are a convicted fennel ( that's felon in Lymese)." Lol. I keep doing this. The wrong word thing. I know I'm doing it when I don't even hear it too, because I've had some awfully strange looks during conversations with people. Maybe they are looking at my hands or rash. Who knows. Really, I'm doing my best to not care. My scars, my rash, my nutty words all tell a story. A story whose telling, may someday change life for even one person, so let them stare.
Smiling with a twitch. Loving you all.
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